I enjoyed the film last night, Dark Knight Rises, for its themes and also for one of its betrayals, which I will not give away.
I begin to feel a little less bereft. I wonder if it will come and go for my life entire, or merely for years. In the last few days had it not been for the iron will of those around me I would have thrown myself on San’s mercy. Since it would not have been forthcoming, I imagine the outcome the same, but my dignity more intact.
I do miss him with all of me. Perhaps it is pitiful to say, but it is true. Grief never goes at the pace one would like, and one tires others. I apologize for it being thus, but I cannot say otherwise.