I ended a long term relationship about a year ago, and I took time to work on myself. I found I like me again! Finally I started dating again and after kissing some frogs, I think I found a prince. The only trouble is despite all the work I did, I still find old insecurities come roaring up, and some bad habits along with them. I know everyone has their foibles and my prince insists mine are within ok-with-him, but I’d still like to ditch the baggage. What can I do?
Signed, pretty real, insecure new companion earnestly seeking serenity.
I am glad for your question although you might have outlined these habits of which you speak. If they are along the lines of speaking before you think when emotional, that is one thing. But if they are a habit of beheading one’s beloved because he did not speak the magic word, that is something else (although I suppose a compromise might be an amputation – and in the case of the frogs, a basis for a good appetizer). When you wrote of insecurities roaring I thought for a moment you perhaps had meant incubi (auto correct creates such errors I find), in which case I would suggest a pentagram or some holy water. But assuming all is within a less supernatural realm I suggest a dual approach: Take the prince at his word, but invite him to join with you in determining when you feel least secure, and find ways to connect at those times rather than fall into old ways.
Also, if it is beheading, marry first, as a dowager-princess may inherit a realm.