Uncharted waters

My daughter is excited because she is a girlfriend and her boyfriend thus.

I am not certain I see the difference from the moment before it was said, but for her it is significant.

To me, it is as though she suddenly began to speak in tongues and expect me to follow instructions. Except, there is no need to follow, only to listen as she perches on a chair eating peanut butter from the jar making her announcement, looking to her brother with something not quite triumph, for it is not so competitive, but akin to it, for all the world in this moment like some character I have only seen in brief on a television. A normal girl, I suppose, although this is like the fin of a shark.

Well, perhaps not. Certainly not the whole, however. She eats the peanut butter from the jar on the dagger I gifted her. One can only laugh. I do not think she noticed.

I almost would it were so sinister, as I have no sense what it is she means. I have had lovers, several. A beloved-husband-consort-soulmate. I have been a whore, a priestess, a vessel, other things along this line, even an object of disgust to be used. Lately, I have been a discard at the side of the road. I would have said a widow, but I see not. Wasted, in any case.

But I cannot think of any time I have had a boyfriend or been a girlfriend unless it was said in irony. Although this makes me perhaps lacking in certain experiences that would aid in being a mother, it may be it permits me to listen the better rather than tell. It gives her joy.

I would wish for San to interpret, but I am not certain he would understand it either. He too has been many things. Perhaps now he will have the chance to be a…well, perhaps not a boyfriend, but not a girlfriend. Something along those lines. (I hope he will. Be. Eat, a little. And so forth. Preferably from my hand, but if not, from a better.)

In any case, mazel tov my daughter and her boyfriend.



About Jenn

Find me on Twitter @JennGruden
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