Now I amuse myself: Menu for a divorce party

To wonder what Li’s and my divorce party would look like, were we to have one. A decrepit mansion, perhaps, as the venue – preferably attached to a cemetery.

The menu: Hors d’oeuvres would be skewers, of course. Cheese or meat balls on a platter. Revenge mousse, best served cold. Bread cooked to split like wounds with kosher salt within them. Bitter melon.

Divided, perhaps, between a his and hers table, with different china at each, some of it broken. We would invite guests to break it at the end.

Bloody Marys to drink, and only young wine – for the marriage would not have aged like a fine one. Perhaps absinthe. One could say lemons from which to make lemonade, but I am not certain.

We would invite guests outdoors, allowing them to stroll along a raised platform – the ‘high road’ one is always advised to take.

And for dessert I think something traditional – a wedding cake decorated to look mouldy, perhaps. I would not decapitate the bride and groom.

And a bag of sour candies to take for favours.

In truth, I would like the last dance. But I think if Li and I were design such a menu and a party, it might not take place.


About Jenn

Find me on Twitter @JennGruden
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