Today I am angry, beloved

Today I am a little angry.

If it is others in your system who keep you from me, then I am angry with them. What would it cost them, an hour or two a week or a month for you and I to see each other? We have done it before. It is ludicrous – Ludicrous, your own usename – to keep us apart.

If it is thus, then we will find you. The children are the tie, and the power you know as I have discussed it. We will make it available to you and it will be your decision how it is used.

And if it is truly your decision then you should not have asked me to bear our fourth child and you should not have said you loved me even while your system was condemning me and mine. It is not often in our many years, beloved, that we have said something similar to each other. You said it to me about spending time with our children and I acknowledged the rightness of it, though it stung, and I corrected it.

If you wish to leave, that is fine, but you should have treated me with respect. I am not a dog to be left at the side of the road. Nor are you.

As you can sense in these words, I am done with lying in our bed mourning. Our son is well on the path to growing. Now I seek you. If you, or others find it mad that I seek you, then they should have treated with us better.

The season of death comes and Avalon is confused and unhappy, and Ahren silent and angry with us both. As I have said, I will do my best, and I will do it in the spirit in which we have raised our children. Because I am Magdalynn and I will not play the petty games.

You should be standing with me as you promised when you sank to your knees as my Consort and joined my hands as my husband. And you should stand with Avalon on the anniversary of last year.

Our love has been true. And if you are under the ice and locked in the room, then I hope once you feel me again you will take what I offer and break free.

Because beloved, you are worth the fighting for, as am I. I do not care if others will call it the rantings of a madwoman. And if it is that you are indisposed, perhaps you will feel my fire where you did not feel my sorrow.

Magdalena’alaha Lynn Stormsworn


About Jenn

Find me on Twitter @JennGruden
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