Poetry month #5: Former cult queen

November of 2002

She’s sitting in your classroom
With her back against the wall,
She rides the bus to meet you ’cause
She can’t afford a car
Her taste runs to macabre and
She usually has a dagger in her eyes-
Although it might just be the
vestiges of someone’s cheap disguise

She likes to die her clothes black
And wear teardrops in her hair
She dances like she’s enchanted
And she loves to quote Voltaire
Her thoughts run to the morbid
And she usually has a sordid
Little speech –
Although it might just be the
Gothic asthetique

She’s a former cult queen
She fucks the devil in her dreams
And she’s into every single thing
As long as you’re imagining
She’s seven
Which was the last time that
She saw the gates of heaven
Close behind her
She’s a former cult queen
And sees everything you are
And ever been
She’s a former cult queen.

What if she raised the dead before
She dared turn thirteen
And what if she’s a lunatic
Whose thoughts are just obscene
She tells you things
You never shared – you’re hoping
You just let them drop or maybe
Spoke out in your dreams;
It couldn’t be she’s really
Seeing all those happenings

Maybe it’s just a touch of –
Psychic empathy –
A world imaginary –
Maybe she’s just a bit deranged
Or maybe it’s all been pre-arranged
It couldn’t be blood that’s in her eyes
Everything’s just a little
Fierce tonight;
All of the ghosts she claims to know
All of the bodies she let go
All of the writhing, all of the biting,
All of the nights and all of the rites
Visionary destiny and knives and bitter recipes
For how to bury victims under trees.

The FBI says there just wasn’t anything
So don’t forget to breathe
As long as you return her key.

She’s a former cult queen
She fucks the devil in her dreams
And she’s into every single thing
As long as you’re imagining
She’s seven
Which was the last time that
She saw the gates of heaven
Or felt assured
That anyone might see her
She’s a former cult queen
And sees everything you are
And ever been
She’s a former cult queen.

And she’ll never find the sense of power
That she had the final hour
Before she turned seventeen,

Cult queen

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About Jenn

Find me on Twitter @JennGruden
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