I am not trying to provoke a reaction. I am simply saying what I wish to God that our families and friends had said to my once-husband and me, at the time. Whether or not we would have listened is another matter entirely. But there are children. We needed a village, a scolding yenta, a shaman. There was none to be found. Modern society frowns upon meddling. Modern society celebrates leasing, upgrades, upcycling, new starts, new parts.
I wanted someone then and now to vouch for me, to vouch for this heart of mine. I wanted someone to plead to my then-husband on my behalf: She is good. She is scared. Listen. She is still there. Go to her. I wanted someone to plead to me on his behalf: He is good. He is scared. Listen. He is still there. Go to him. I wanted someone to take us by the hand and lead us back to each other, remind us of all that was good, tell us in plain words what we could not find the words for ourselves.
But this is not what happened. I wonder, these days, if that ever happens.
I discovered this woman at her other blog, Breed ’em and Weep. She speaks of being the sort who does not cease to love. I understand this.