I am totally in love with someone – to the point of obsession. It’s like a craving that never goes away. I feel like I’m addicted to a drug. Does that make it unhealthy? Do I need to go cold turkey?
Drugged with Love
Dear Drugged with Love,
Ah yes, the skepticism for obsession. But I ask you, what is the point of giving one’s love and energy, and perhaps word and effort, to someone unworthy of obsession? How many love stories begin and end in fondness alone?
So let us consider this drug.
There are many drugs which are considered useful. The pain relief, the antibiotics for diseases which killed in the past, the anti-psychotics for those who wish not to see visions.
Ask whether this love enhances what you wish to do or prevents it. Are you still able to form ties with a community, perhaps a group of like-minded denizens of the dark and pursue your passion and lust for blood? Over time does your self-respect increase, or decrease?
As I have sought to seduce, this has been my measure for the other. It is fine to desire one’s lover to crave one, but not at the expense of all else. All credit for achievement – a master’s perhaps; various volunteer pursuits, and so on – goes to the lover, of course. But one may be more comfortable in a love which permits these things than one which does not.
For when love consumes all else, then it is religion and ritual. I could speak in favour of this sort of love as well but it is not for everyone. One risks immolation. I have spent some time looking at this very fine project, courtesy of Laura at 11d.
As your love is not thus (if you would not enjoy it), I say take the drug and enjoy it. Not just enjoy it – delight in it, feel how it enhances the senses, allow it to transform you.
A final word of caution however: If you discard the lover as though an empty bottle at the end, you will know you have defined yourself as an addict.