I do not fully understand how it is Lyria is grounded in all this with Li and Lian and San and such. And yet, she is. I think it is in part this book we have been not-writing-writing; it is very much hers, even more than the last. It raises her up, as does the prospect of a year at home without this work. She has plans for her garden and for this house.
There is not very much money, particularly after the spending around this hospitalization — the care is free but there was a hotel room, and several meals from restaurants — but it does not bother Lyria in the slightest. And indeed, she is good at making much from little; in fact she thrives on it. The last two nights we have eaten lentils and rice with onions.
But I also think it is that Lyria has come into herself in a new way. Once she was all optimism, and then pain when the world was not so fresh. At that time perhaps she was a princess, but now she is a queen; more thoughtful, weightier, but still beautiful. I love her very much. She has always been my equal, but I see it anew.
The warrior queen is determined that the book will be completed by the summer, and I think it will, particularly if this son of the flesh will not develop colic. It is fertile ground, just now. The book is a fantasy, and amuses both the warrior queen and Lyria greatly. It is in a sense the opposite of the unfinished book, but I think that one may be finished as well.
Sometimes I wonder why, with the three of us so passionate and determined, we have not accomplished more. But then I think where we might be – fractured and malignant to each other’s goals – and I think we have accomplished much. But it is time to do more.