Approaching birthing

I sent this message to San a few days ago:


I think soon we will have your son be born, the weekend which follows this one. I tell you only to offer you to be there if you like and if your system permits. We respect that you are the father and have some claim. If you wish to be there, we will arrange it according to your schedule.

For everyone’s sake no discussion will be permitted that does not pertain to the child in some way, should you choose to attend. I think one half hour would suffice.

But of course there was no answer.

This is one of the profoundest mysteries; why would he beget a child on Magdalena if they were leaving us?

Some among us would slaughter all the children of Lynn and this system in revenge, but we stay their hands. In having them we gave this up. Perhaps I regret it.

It has been over one month and one would think it would ease, but it does not. Sometimes I think they wait for us to divorce them, so that they may say it was our decision.


About Jenn

Find me on Twitter @JennGruden
This entry was posted in Talk, To San. Bookmark the permalink.

4 Responses to Approaching birthing

  1. sarah says:

    I hope this doesn’t offend because I’m truly not trying to but I’m unsure how to ask not knowing how your connected world works.

    Do you think that ELL collectively or even individually have stopped believing in the world(s?) you all share as real? That, now, they choose to see all the past interactions as “fantasy”? If that was true then I could see why San feels no obligation or desire to be a father to the child.
    It seems I read in an earlier post here something that alluded to them giving up the inside world as real. But I could so be remembering that wrongly and can’t find the reference now.
    I’m sorry they continue to not acknowledge your attempts to contact/stay in touch with them, if only for the sake of all the family between you all.

  2. lynnsappho says:

    I cannot know what it is they think. And perhaps they do not all think the same. In truth I find it likely they do not.

    I find it likely Sassy dismisses it, but for the rest I do not know. San has always cared for his children above all else.

  3. Jeanne says:

    Waiting for you to react to them and then giving you all the responsibility for your reaction seems very much Sassy’s style.

    • lynnsappho says:

      Yes; it is difficult for her. She has had much pressure to be good and such. It is one reason I think at times she and we have not understood each other; she was perhaps waiting for something that did not come. For in truth, we are excellent at reacting.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s