Now it looks clumsy but another old
My soul proclaims your greatness, O my God,
and my spirit has rejoiced in your my Saviour;
What a lie – well – if you want to know the
truth it isn’t the first one. The pleasure I was waiting
for never actually arrived – before you came inside me.
Another broken promise, but I smiled and said it was fine anyway.
For you have regarded me as your holy handmaid;
henceforth all generations shall call me blessed;
Who would have thought that a night I hardly remembered
could make me a mother and a whore.
Because you know what they’re saying about me in the streets
and Joseph pretends he’s not there when I call.
For you who are mighty, have done great things for me,
and Holy is your Name;
And now you tell me he’s the one? Do you really think I’m
that stupid? I’ve read the prophecies and I know the price
of redemption. I have seen people stoned in the
streets at the hands of your priests and pious followers.
Your mercy is on those who fear you throughout all generations.
You have showed strength with your arm.
Do you really expect me to bring this child into the world
for you; I wish you had a hand, oh God, a hand so you could
feel this little foot fluttering against my ribs –
you would never nail it to a cross just to prove who’s the boss
You have scattered the proud in the conceit of their heart.
You have put down the mighty from their seat,
and have lifted up the powerless.
Please, God, rip him out of me before I have to teach him his
colours – red – his first word – thorn – teach him how to tie
leather into knots and watch him climb his first tree.
You do it. You sit here and watch him take his first steps.
You have filled the hungry with good things,
and have sent the rich away empty.
I can see though that I’m not going to get any answers –
Why should I –
When did I have any choice?
Remembering your mercy,
You have helped your people Israel –
As you promised Abraham and Sarah.
Mercy to their children forever.
But not to mine.